十月快来领了

是的，十月就快来临了。十月是我毕业的月份。十月是正式成为工程师的时候。十月是我需决定留在那里一间教会的时候。最近一直都想离开自己的母堂。 同时也和牧师说好我将事奉到九月尾，十月就离开。但最近发觉我对母堂的负担还是没有减少。我长大的教堂，对我来说不是什么大教会，也很少受到人关心的教会。是一间不是那么善于表达的一间教会。但当我进入主日学时，我发觉大大的不同。主日学老师真的很肯付出，同时也用很多爱来爱一般天真的小朋友。我依然觉得教会的复兴是从主日学开始。

我一开真得很怕小朋友，但神却让我融入他们，从新和他们学习。小朋友有时会很诚实的说出大人都不敢说的弱点。最感动是前天在儿童营会中看到一位超可爱的小朋友把他得第一名的奖品分给其他小朋友。我以为小朋友都会留最好的给自己。但他没有，他反而叫其他小朋友随性的拿。剩下的他才留给自己。这一幕真的让我感动。人越大，就懂得越多，慢慢的对不公平，对自己开始自私了起来。而忘了一切供应，一切礼物都是从神而来。我们应当把一切从神而来的礼物先分享给人，让后才留给自己。这应该就是"把其他人看得大一点，把自己看得小一点“。这又是我要学习的功课。

Engr.

I received email from IEM again. I love this is email, especially it's wrote " Engr. Chung Jia Jiunn". Engineer really sound good to me. Love it. haha... But I will still do my Best in my Working Zone. Be Humble and I truly know that Everything is given by God. All I have, all my life is from God. :)

part2

四天三夜的life game结束了。这四天三夜，我经历了什么？学习了什么呢？我学会了跳舞！我学会give thanks 和 heaven is counting on you 的舞蹈。哈哈。。。还记得前年短宣，每个人都说我跳舞像机器人。现在应该比以前好些了。这四天，又是我人生的里程碑。我只能总结这四天比起我快发黄的大堆文凭值得的多了。

Life game的内容都很熟悉了，但这次我却能够以旁观者的身份观察这一切。这次营会，有一幕还是让我眼眶含泪。看着他们在麻木中度过生活时，心真的很痛。看着我扮演坏人的角色时，用他们的信任来达到目的时，我心真的很痛。人往往的在忙碌中，迷失了自己。还记得我的员工还打算六十岁就会得到一笔巨大哦的养老金。但没有想到还没有到六十岁，他就死了。人，很会算。但往往的我们连下一秒会发生什么事都不知道。我感恩，透过这次营会，我有能够再次提醒自己，不要活在麻木的时代里。只为了赚钱。不要为了钱而活。不要成为了钱的奴仆。

我很感恩能够认识到一班乐意服事，爱主的弟兄姐妹。我也认识到一位很像我的人， “华哥”。所以人人都叫我 “华弟”。蛮好玩的。。。我又有新的名。认识了一班 Sandakan和tawau的义工。真的很开心。也同时认识了很多营员。但这次，我真的没有做好本分。我应该容纳他们，参与他们的。忙来忙去，我忽略了他们。下次一定要参与他们。

我发觉我还是很喜欢拿麦克风。我喜欢带领。离开大学后，真的很少再接触到麦克风了。希望有一天，我不单单参与营会，反而能够带领营会。期待吧。人因梦想而伟大。有梦才会成真。

First of all, I'm so glad that i can join kk life game as the volunteer as well. I had waiting it, wondering it for a long time ago since last year December 2010. I love life game very much cause it's impact and change human life.

By the way, today is the first day of kk Life Game. morning have to wake up early around 8am and arrived at the hall at 9pm. it's started with briefing about how the flow for today event. around 1pm, all the participant arrived. After registered, sport is the first event started for the purposed to break their ice among each team members. At night is focus on their education, follow by sketch and message.

This time, i glad that i can observed them as a volunteer. the conditions are totally different. Participant will be hesitated to earn money, do this and that. Volunteer more to observe what they do, how their reaction, how they feel etc.  I also have a good opportunity to bcum Dai Yi Long borrow money for them to pursue their study. I feel like Dai Yi Long very important as well. Dai Yi Long borrow them money to study. We are bring them HOPE, FUTURE, DIRECTION for them. That's why i always advice them borrow money from me (this is the way i influence them).

To be continue.......

祝福

祝福，听起来很简单。但做起来却一点也不简单。知道能做很多事来改变这一切，但却学会放手。三人痛苦，也好过一人的痛。曾经的经历却让我成熟的面对这一切。追求永远比退出简单的多。但我却只能选择退出。退出不单单要脸带笑容当着没有事情，心中的痛，纳闷，眼眶流的泪，有谁能知。每一天都要刚强起来，当着没有事的感觉。原来爱是不嫉妒，爱是不求自己的益处，一点也不容易。但唯有祷告，靠着神给的力量而度过吧。相信可以的。

暂停写部落格

暂停写部落格。如果这地方不再是帮到人的地方，不再是荣耀神的地方，就不要再写了。我深知我写部落格是希望如有有人处于沮丧时，能够看到我写的部落格而重建信心起来。但我慢慢的远离了这个目标。如果写部落格只为了给某些人看，那么真的太没有意义了。

最近我的心思意念开始变了。我发觉知道的越多，越成熟时，责任也越多。我深知我能向前迈进，但我选择退后。如果这一切不是神的引导，而是自己的益处，我还是退后。发觉到太多事情，很多事情都在变化当中。短短的几个月内，从不喜欢的朋友能够到好朋友。从非基督徒能够到火热的基督徒。从四五年，甚至五六年的男女朋友都能有分手收场。身旁发生了太多类似的事情。距离是最大的挑战。说真的，我自己都很害怕。我曾经也因为距离而倒下了。

最近在和几位刚分手的好友聊聊时，有时会觉分手的原因抽象，有时又很具体。辅导系可能是我应该走的路。我喜欢听人坦诚的说话，我喜欢小组，我喜欢分享，我喜欢彼此鼓励。大学，我有华倩，Clarence，Kelvin做我最要好的朋友。我们彼此鼓励，彼此说出心里最深的心里话。我在我们最低潮的时候彼此鼓励，彼此分享。原因只有一样，有神在我们中间。七月份神学院基本辅导课程即将会参加。我希望学习后，我们够应用在鼓励，扶持我周围的朋友身上。但辅导员往往是最需要辅导的。我相信这句话是没有辅导员认同的一句话。

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

Seriosly, sometime I wish to runaway from all the trials and temptation. I dont like to feel it again and again and again. Tired of all this things....

Yesterday my friend ask me, why God allowed jealousy... Why he always angry... why it's hard to control his emotion. I told my friend, life is about learning. Wihout all those thing happen in your life, u wont learn, wont pass the test and wont grow up. I love to encourage, council and advice my friends. On the hand, I'm the one who really need to council.

I dont like the feeling of jealousy and uncertain. This is what i afraid the most and it's also what i had experience recently. I know very well what will happen next and how to avoid and also know what to do. But the more i know, the more i'm afraid.

Sometime i scare my heart away from God. The more i focus on other ppls, the more i'm struggle. Think it's time for me to surrender every thing.... EVERYTHING to GOD.... It's not easy, but i know i can do it. I need to reguard my heart above all else, for it determines the course of my life.



*suddenly found a nice website http://bible.cc/